America is back.
Turns out that beleaguered and forgotten Americans aren’t the only ones in dire need of a strong dose of straight talk from America’s president.
Isn’t it funny how all the great political experts who never met a Trump supporter and never thought President Trump could win the White House are suddenly the greatest experts on how upset Mr. Trump’s voters are with all the president’s wheeling and dealing with dirty Democrats?
Finally! The collusion with Russia we have all been looking for!
Russian operatives working for the Kremlin reportedly spent $100,000 posting “divisive social and political messages” on Facebook during last year’s presidential campaign.
The swamp gets sloshed! Republicans stunned! GOP reeling! Blindsided!
Everyone knows that former President Barack Obama, our Great American Constitutional Law Professor, got mercilessly schooled by the Supreme Court during his eight years in office. Now he is getting schooled by a brash-talking, orange-haired reality-TV star and real-estate developer from Queens.
We are witnessing some of the most spectacularly absurd political gambits in American history unfold right now before our very eyes.
The first comes from Democrats in Congress, who want to somehow blame collapsing Obamacare on Republicans.
Because, of course, they want rule of law to reign, a group of citizens began digging up the grave of Nathan Bedford Forrest in Memphis this week over his helping found the Ku Klux Klan.
They only got a few shovelfuls before giving up. But they vowed to return with a backhoe to dig the rest of the man’s grave up later.
Eight years after it was proved — even more convincingly than the moon landing — that a black man can get elected president of the United States of America, we still have slow learners stuck in the past.
It’s the “Obliterate History Neanderthals” versus the “I’m White and I’m Proud Brass Knuckle Draggers.” Truly, dumb and dumber — and not always in that order.
Are you tired of winning yet?
In the long march to remaking American greatness, President Trump has certainly attracted plenty of scorn and ridicule from all the predictable and boring corners over all the predictable and boring nonissues.
Even amid the cosmic chaos that is this White House, President Trump maintains the laser focus of his wickedly sharp political instincts.